eventually it rains...

2010-09-16T23:24:00.000-07:00

SORRY BLOGSPOT...

I moved to Tumblr..
www.joreese.tumblr.com

But good news Blogspot.. tonight I wrote an Ode, of sorts, to you.. on my Tumblr..
I will always love you for my first blog: jojoeyjoanna
and I will always love you for this one...

Follow me on (the other site) :)
Love.

2010-02-04T13:29:00.000-08:00

Please give Solander, my Swedish Sweetheart, some love.

He walks me home from class almost everyday. He politely holds my hand when I need him to, and breaks all the other girls' hearts.

Looking for Gold
"I wasn't looking for gold, I was looking for you... love."
"I wasn't trying to fool you, I was trying to be the one you want..."

And when he gasps for air in the middle of Night in Vagnharad, I fall victim to the most serious swoon...

When You Are Away"
"and when the day comes to an end, I can lie awake for hours just to get a glimpse of your face."
"When youre leaving town, I don't know what to do I just stay awake... Going down to berlin over the weekend to see the fleet foxes show, I stay awake. Leaving for a week to see whatever happened to the architecture in Rome, I stay awake.."

Solander Site-ings!
http://aurgasm.us/2009/10/solander/
http://solandertour.blogspot.com/
http://www.tenderversion.com/solander/
http://www.myspace.com/solandersweden
http://solandertour.blogspot.com/

2010-02-03T22:14:00.000-08:00

Oh my goodness.
I'm happy to be me.
Even if things aren't always perfect.
I'm soo glad I'm not living the life of someone else.

I do not want to be married at 23.
I do not want a baby at 23.
Heck, I'm closer to 24 than I am 23, and that doesn't scare me a bit!
I'm so glad I am not you, regardless of how happy you may be.
I'm happy to be sitting here in my temporary life and struggling.

Okay this might sound a little crazy, like I'm going a little crazy... But I just facebook stalked kids from my class, and I'm glad it's not me.

-still dating my high school boyfriend (or girlfriend, whichever)
-married to my high school boyfriend
-married with a baby
-still dating my high school boyfriend, with a baby
-married at all
-stuck in their hometown

If you are one of these and you stumble upon my ramblings, just know that I'm not mocking you.. I just prefer being free.
I fully support most of you, even though I do not know you anymore.

The older I get the further away I want marriage to be. I have this new ideal and it's perfect in my head. So although I know that this is unlikely to happen, this is my ideal:

July 11, 2020. My ideal wedding date. On my grandparent's anniversary, in ten years.
I want to be self-established. I want to pay for my own wedding. I want to build a house with my husband. I want a lot of things, some of the things my classmates already have... but I want them ten years from now.

I'll settle for love, but only just.

2010-02-02T13:53:00.000-08:00

Gertrude Stein.

Writing Steinian verse in class...
upon viewing the object, we wrote our own.
These are mine:

Fork
Battlements at the forefront of a cave.

Beaded Necklace
Slinking silver pulls along the strand,
stranded in the hands.

Sponge (with handle)
A limb from the soft cushion of her parts.

Race Car
Black in darkness, speed in sound,
speeding stopped still.

Bow Tie Pasta
Rough around the edges until you butter her up,
softening in the warmth.

2010-01-31T21:16:00.000-08:00

If you've read The Sound & The Fury...
This is how I felt about Caddy and the chapter I thought presented her the best.
I wrote this for a Essay Quiz that was due tonight, soo here it is:

I think that every character has a special filter in their memory of their sister, Caddy. I don’t think that any of them, Benjy, Quentin, or Jason, really knew Caddy the way I wanted them to. I wanted more of an insight to her human nature. Quentin holds her on a pedestal of sorts. Jason is bitter about her failed marriage affecting his own affairs. Benjy’s filter is one of a child, so I feel like it’s the most honest one. The first chapter is the most difficult to read as it is jumpy and very confused by Benjy’s mental state; however, I can’t help but feel that Caddy is more real to Benjy than his other brothers. Within his shifting memories, it is easy to find the Caddy that I want to believe Faulkner created.
Caddy could be just a girl with a huge heart. She is the only person who really cares for her mentally ill brother, Benjy. The first time we see her sweet kindness to her brother is in a memory where Benjy is meeting Caddy coming home from school. (p 6) She’s talking to him like she really cares what he has to say and rubbing his cold hands to warm them up. She is the only person that talks to him with a softness in her voice like she loves him as though she’s his mother. His mother however treats him more with a tone of pity, calling him “that baby” and “my poor baby.” (p 8) Caddy reassures Benjy as soon as they are alone that he is not a “poor baby” and that he has her to care about him. In many memories, Caddy is the only one who can calm Benjy down and she does so by embracing him. Later in the chapter, when Benjy catches her out with Charlie, Caddy is more driven to take care of Benjy, then to just send him away in hatefulness as Charlie asks her to do. (p 47) He also suggests that Benjy is too dumb to understand her or hold a conversation. She sticks up for him in front of her part time lover and it is yet another example of her genuine care for Benjy. It is because of her relationship with Benjy that I cannot help but love her for her humanness. She might get caught up in sexual promiscuity later, but her seemingly heartless acts of giving herself to boys are dim in comparison to these love driven acts of selflessness.
Another reason I have decided to like Caddy, even though she is trapped in this messy tale of a life, is that she is a strong personality. She likes to “mother” and feel responsible for Benjy. She is eager to have control and be in charge of her brothers when her mother is sick. Also when she gets wet, she proves her “free bird” side and takes off her dress unafraid of the consequences of getting dirty. (p 18) Caddy said, “I don’t care, I’ll run away” and it instantly made me love her. It made me feel like she was willing to be herself inspite of her family’s discouragement to the point of running away even if it was a empty promise. I think that most of the Compsons, other than Benjy, have an eagerness for control and this is one of the ways that Caddy shows her own need. It could be said that this is the reason that she acts out and becomes promiscuous—to be in control of her body.
Caddy Compson is a very developed character, but through different filters. These examples are a part of the filter I chose to believe her integrity is built in. She is a loving sister and she is her own person. She is a free bird and a sweetheart. This is only how I choose to remember her upon putting down The Sound and the Fury, regardless of how naïve it may be.

2010-01-02T00:52:00.000-08:00

Oh-Nine
MOVIES
Movies I saw:
(500) Days of Summer
9
Adventureland
All About Steve
Angels and Demons
Avatar
Away We Go
Confessions of a Shopaholic
Coraline
Disney’s A Christmas Carol
Fame
Fantastic Mr. Fox
Food Inc.
Funny People
Gigantic
The Hangover
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
He’s Just Not That Into You
I Love You, Man
The Informant
Inglorious Basterds
Julie and Julia
Knowing
Law Abiding Citizen
Monsters vs. Aliens
New Moon
Night at the Museum 2
Phoebe in Wonderland
The Proposal
Public Enemies
Sherlock Holmes
Sunshine Cleaning
Taken
Terminator 4
The Time Traveler’s Wife
Transformers 2
Up
Watchmen

Movies I wanted to see:
Brothers
The Invention of Lying
Invictus
The Lovely Bones
The Men Who Stare at Goats
New York I Love You
Paper Heart
Pirate Radio
The September Issue
Up in the Air
Where the Wild Things Are
Whip It
Zombie Land

Walk Out Worthy:
Transformers 2
The Time Traveler’s Wife
Funny People
Knowing (if I had seen it in theatres)

Top 5 Movies of 2009 (according to what I did see):
1. Fantastic Mr. Fox
2. Away We Go
3. (500) Days of Summer
4. Up
5. 9 or Inglorious Basterds or He’s Just Not That Into You or Avatar

MUSIC
Music I bought in 2009:
Animal Collective – Merriweather Post Pavilion
Andrew Bird – Noble Beast
The Bird and The Bee - Ray Guns Are Not Just the Future
Ben Kweller – Changing Horses
Lily Allen – It’s Not Me, It’s You
The Lonely Island – Incredibad
Beirut – March of the Zapotec/Holland
Neko Case – Middle Cyclone
U2 – No Line on the Horizon
Cursive – Mama, I’m Swollen
The Decemberists – The Hazards of Love
Metric – Fantasies
Bat For Lashes – Two Suns
Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band – Outer South
Grizzly Bear – Veckatimest
Scarlett Johansson and Pete Yorn – Break Up
Monsters of Folk – Monsters of Folk
Why? – Eskimo Snow
The Mountain Goats – The Life of the World to Come
Lady Gaga- The Fame
Phoenix – Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
The Avett Brothers – I and Love and You
Jay-Z – The Blueprint 3
M. Ward – Hold Time
Noah and The Whale – The First Days of Spring
The Antlers – Hospice
Norah Jones – The Fall
A Fine Frenzy – Oh, Blue Christmas
Solander – Since We are Pigeons
Sherree Chamberlain – The Wasp in the Room
Elizabeth & the Catapults – Taller Children
John Fullbright – Live at the Blue Door
Anjulie – Anjulie
Jenny Owen Youngs – Transmitter Failure
Weinland – Breaks in the Sun

I listened to these oh-nine albums the most:
1. John Fullbright – Live at the Blue Door
2. Monsters of Folk – Monsters of Folk
3. Glee Cast – Glee: The Music
4. Sherree Chamberlain – The Wasp in the Room
5. The Avett Brothers – I and Love and You
6. Elizabeth & The Catapults – Taller Children
7. Solander – Since We Are Pigeons
8. Phoenix - Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
9. Metric – Fantasies
I think I need to stop at 9 or I’ll go on forever and ever.

I discovered these oh-eight greats this past year:
Lay Low
Hey Marseilles
Weinland
The Welcome Wagon

Favorite Records to Spin:
She & Him - Vol. 1
Cat Stevens - Greatest Hits
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Bob Dylan - Greatest Hits
Harry Chapin - Greatest Stories Live
Sufjan Stevens - Illinois
Animal Collective - Merriweather Post Pavilion

TV
Favorite TV Shows:
1. Glee
2. SYTYCD (best season yet)
3. Community (best new NBC comedy)
4. Dexter (frustration.)
5. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
6. The Soup.
7. ANTM (best season yet)
8. 30 Rock - Office - Parks and Rec

HOBBIES
I did these things in oh-nine:
crocheting
wood burning
netflix-ing
park time-ing
late night lake swimming
playing with fire
taking myself of movie dates
wedding planning/obsessing (so ashamed...)

MEMORIES
my favorites:
Taylor Woodruff followed me into the bathroom... Not my fault.
Hobbit Cafe and Houston Spring Break
Norman Music Fest
Sherree's August Joe's concert night
Beaver Lake
Lake Carl Blackwell
Johnny
Britton Gildersleeve
Living with Aly and Karlee
Mallory Moore at New Moon
Cassidy and Zone 5b
hanging out with Jairus
Chicken and Shiner Tradition with Kara and Jairus
Kara's October visit
Cookie's Karaoke
meeting Ale
Girls' Roadtrip to Dallas
Hiking the Wichitas and the prairie dogs
Dallas Zoo and the gibbons
My christmas present from Lainey

2009-05-29T17:28:00.000-07:00

2009-05-22T22:05:00.001-07:00

2009-05-21T01:09:00.000-07:00

In Loving Memory of Chris Cowden,
Dad to my dear dear friend,
Mallory Brooke Crockett Cowden Woods...

Oh and 4 days ago.
was Mallory's 1 yr mark.
May 17.
One year from having to watch her crumble.
I never want to have to see that again.
She is easily one of my best friends.
And she is my inspiration to be strong.
She is the strongest person I know.
They had a run, The See Spot Run, in Guthrie on the 16th.
Trey won the 10k for Mal, and Chris, and himself
God could not have prepared a better husband for my best friend.
I love them both so much.

2009-05-21T00:54:00.000-07:00

What some may see as a waste of time, I feel like I had the most productive day.
I got to see Mal first thing this morning.
I got to go to a classroom where my intellect is recognized.
I got to work out with my neighbor.
I got to shower.
I got to use deodorant that works.
I got to meet new people.
I got to make my own decisions when it came to past bad habits.
I got to watch every existing Terminator, one after the other.
and now I get to go to bed.
It's funny how optimistic everything sounds when you treat each activity of your life as a privilege. It's funny how important that is to me. Or maybe not funny, but it sure does put a smile on my face at the end of the day.

2009-05-20T08:18:00.000-07:00

A summers day
In the empty town Stillwater;
I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the cars that pass,
On a freshly mowed silent shroud of grass.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
Ive built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
Its laughter and its loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

Dont talk of love,
But Ive heard the words before;
Its sleeping in my memory.
I wont disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.
-Paul and Jo

I have always thought this song was inspiring. Even though the words are sad really. There is something about feeling no pain, and never crying that really attracts me. But it's nothing I want really. It would be terrible to be this alone, this uncapable.
Just the same,
I am a rock,
I am an island.

2009-05-16T21:48:00.000-07:00

I'm on a path that will lead to my success...
It's time to start documenting it.
It's time to start remembering my worth.
It's time to start letting God have more control.
Because I have none.
Day 3 begins tomorrow.
How do you ask for prayer from the dear people that never stopped praying for you?
You don't, you thank them.
Thank you and I can't wait to see you on the sunny side.
Oh and I love you.

2009-02-12T18:39:00.000-08:00

Who is the best sister ever? That's right.. me. I spent most of my afternoon and evening coming up with valentine's day ideas for my little brother.

Sorry if you've missed me.. Maybe I'll be around.

School is tough right now.. but I think that I will always have good and and bad days/weeks. Overall though, I'm doing great.
Tonight I started a new bible study with Leah, her two roommates: Stella and Shannon, Aly and Karlee.. So I'm hoping it'll be really great; it's definitely something you all could pray about.

Love.

2008-12-05T15:13:00.000-08:00

2008 Lists for December

Christmas Wishes:
I still want a Chinese Parasol Tree
A Paste Magazine year subscription
(my address is 911 W. 4th Stillwater Ok 74074)
baby owls
a fisheye camera, or other lomography camera
awesome convertible sofa
FM Transmitter/Charger for an Ipod
*My Amazon List has a few cameras/dvds/vinyls I'm interested in.

**anything that you get me, can be used.. I don't need brand new things..

Thriftmas Wishes:
a working vintage record player
some awesome vinyls
a coat rack
a cute bookshelf

2008-12-04T15:54:00.000-08:00

2008-11-22T14:22:00.000-08:00

Just some doodling I do... I'm funny

2008-11-21T19:12:00.000-08:00

I think these are precious.

So here's one for: ha as if we don't all know..

So this one is for: my happy tomorrows

2008-11-04T22:38:00.000-08:00

My stomach is still soo uneasy from tonight, I can't sleep.

Psalm 69:28-30
28 May they be blotted out of the book of life and not be listed with the righteous.
29 I am in pain and distress; may your salvation, O God, protect me.
30 I will praise God's name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving.

Since I can't sleep, I will blog and try to find peace, and maybe find you some as well.

1 Timothy 2
1First of all, then, I urge that entreaties and prayers, petitions and thanksgivings, be made on behalf of all men,
2 for kings and all who are in authority, so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity.
3This is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior,
4 who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.

Proverbs 21
1The king's heart is like channels of water in the hand of the LORD;
He turns it wherever He wishes.
2 Every man's way is right in his own eyes,
But the LORD weighs the hearts.

It bothers me that he wouldn't have been elected if he wasn't black.

It bothers me that the majority of his voters weren't educated on why they were voting for him.

Proverbs 2:12-15
12 Wisdom will save you from the ways of wicked men, from men whose words are perverse,
13 who leave the straight paths to walk in dark ways,
14 who delight in doing wrong and rejoice in the perverseness of evil,
15 whose paths are crooked and who are devious in their ways.

It bothers me that everything that doesn't settle well within me about him has been completely disregarded by America.

It bothers me how they talk about the Christian vote as if it were a bad thing to vote for McCain/Palin.

John 17:14-16
14"I have given them Your word; and the world has hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.
15"I do not ask You to take them out of the world, but to keep them from the evil one.
16"They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world."

It bothers me that California gets 55 votes, and voting in the Heartland gets us nowhere.

It bothers me that we didn't have better presidential candidates.

It bothers me that it matters so much.

But the Lord will protect His people

Proverbs 2:7-9
7 He holds victory in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless,
8 for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones.
9 Then you will understand what is right and just and fair—every good path.

So we must put our trust in our Lord and Savior.

Psalm 9:9-11
9 The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.
10 Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.
11 Sing praises to the LORD, enthroned in Zion; proclaim among the nations what he has done.

2008-11-02T23:36:00.000-08:00

My dearest soulmate.
The most I can do is pray.
I pray that someday I can save you.
Well I pray someday that you can be saved.
I wish I could wish you out of the coma we dwelled within so long.
I have confidence you will find yourself.
Do not feel as though I am leaving you behind.
I am not.
I am merely looking ahead for us for a patch of blue sky.
A long highway which we may find smiles.
For trees we can whisper our secrets too
And climb above the noise of lesser happiness.
I have confidence we will find these.
I feel like a brand new person, but I am certain,
Even in our brighter years we are the same.
I wish we were able to venture towards that unknown world of happy together
But it seems that as we both have found darkness
We must also find it for ourselves light in our separate places.
I will always be here for you, for you are my soulmate
And I must not lose you, I will need your friendship
In the healing months to come and throughout the course of life.

oh! and I cannot wait to stir up chaos with you in chicago one day. hahaha

2008-10-31T01:58:00.000-07:00

Three years ago today at this time (4am).
I walked into my dorm, a different person.

Three years after that day at this time (4am).
I'm laying in bed, excited about tomorrow.

and that is exciting.

2008-10-29T21:16:00.000-07:00

There must be something in the water at home that can really cleanse a soul, cause someone I've lost inside of me took over and wrote me a letter.

Jo,
Tonight you began to listen to your Holy Father again. You heard him. You never let yourself see how lost you were until you stepped on that scale. How long were you just going to ignore it? You finally heard Him when your sister gave you that bracelet. It was no coincidence that you told yourself that morning you were going to stop. Things have to change. You asked for it last night when you changed your status. "Jo Reese is ready for change." Well here it is. You've heard your call. Don't worry about it being up to you.. Don't worry that you'll disappoint people when you fail. You'll only disappoint them if you don't try. We all know you want to be happy and you have all of us behind you. Cut it all out of your life. You don't need it anymore. I love you, don't you know that? and I'm in here just waiting for you to wake up and start your days, so we can start our days together. Quit saying how hard it is and let's just do it. It's going to be a long battle against this darkness you've hidden me in. It's going to be hard and it's going to be worth it. Quit ignoring your faith in God, quit ignoring the fact that He can heal you. He can be there for you. You can lean on Him. Don't let this night go unremembered. Wake up to a new day with a new attitude. Get things done. Don't put off your happiness any longer.
I love you and I can't wait until we are one again.
Joanna Jean Reese

2008-10-21T09:21:00.000-07:00

this made me laugh a lot..

2008-09-22T20:55:00.001-07:00

umm Regina and Ben Folds.... about time.

2008-09-13T21:48:00.000-07:00

2008-09-11T23:14:00.000-07:00

pic of me sleeping in philly when I was 14...
I talked to leah about my stillwater insomnia, and we discovered that I have no problem sleeping around our entire family in Nardin.. So I started thinking about it. I think the reason I can't sleep when I'm not surrounded by people who love me has to do with trust issues I have seemed to build in my college years. Because at home I am known for my sleeping, probably because I get an average of maybe 4hrs of sleep a night. maybe.. Hope you are sleeping well, I miss it.

SEPTEMBER.. my month because I know my dad wants to know..

Fri 12- Work 7:30-11am, Class 11:30-12:20, Kay Co. Fair (mow as soon as it stops raining)
Sat 13- W 7:30am-3pm, missing the OSU game at 12pm, Church, study for BLit2 exam
Sun 14- W 7:30am-3pm, study for BLit2 exam
Mon 15- C 11:30-12:20, study for BLit2 exam
Tue 16- Free Lunch at the Wesley, C 12:30-5:45, BLit2 exam, work on Shakespeare thesis, paycheck at midnight, 7pm College Repulicans meeting
Wed 17- W 7:30-11am, C 11:30-12:20, work on Shakespeare thesis, work on house
Thu 18- C 12:30-5:45pm, Shakespeare thesis due, W 6-9pm
Fri 19- C 11:30-12:20pm, W 3-12am, study for Shakespeare midterm
Sat 20- Drew's Birthday, Colourmusic show at Joe's, Church, study for Shakespeare midterm
Sun 21- W 7:30-3pm, study for Shakespeare midterm
Mon 22- C 11:30-12:20pm, study for Shakespeare midterm
Tue 23- C 12:30-5:45pm, study for Shakespeare midterm, 7pm College Republicans meeting
Wed 24- C 11:30-12:20pm, W 3-10pm, study for Shakespeare midterm
Thu 25- C 12:30-5:45pm, Shakespeare midterm, RELAX.
Fri 26- C 11:30-12:20pm, W 3-9pm
Sat 27- W 7:30-3pm, OSU vs. Troy at 6pm
Sun 28- W 7:30-3pm, work on Shakespeare paper
Mon 29- C 11:30-12:20pm, W ?, work on Shakespeare paper
Tue 30- C 12:30-5:45pm, W ?, paycheck at midnight, work on Shakespeare Paper, 7pm College Republicans meeting

2008-09-04T23:30:00.000-07:00

Lys-

Oh my story.. the one that got me here..
How do I begin?
Let’s start where it hurts the most and work around from there..
I’ve always been one to take things too far, or at least far enough that I have to say no.
And until October 31, 2005 around 4am, I had always been with guys that respect that two letter word.
But this one was different.
I don’t know if I can write about this.. not yet..
I can talk an ear off about it which is weird.. but writing it seems more final. More real.
I don’t know why I can’t.

Sorry I couldn't write it all out for you. I'll tell you about it in parts maybe.

And what I find funny about it all.. is that he wasn't the guy that hurt me the most.
That title belongs to someone I really trusted and he hated me for loving him.
As a friend too. I wasn't even in love with him beyond our friendship.
I don't even know him anymore, and I might not have ever known him.

-Jo

2008-08-21T11:11:00.000-07:00

Maybe a preview..
Sitting there in the sand at three in the morning, I knew he didn't love me. Even though he was drunk, rolling every which way, laughing; he wasn't laughing with me.I knew I was, at that moment, a separate piece outside of the puzzle never to fit into his life again.I pretended like it was a drunk joke, but I knew my friends weren't getting the punchline. He despised me, and I wouldn't admit it to myself until he blatantly spelled it out for me. Over the phone, he folded the pieces of my already broken heart in order to tear them into smaller parts. But here is what I don't get, why would anyone turn down being loved?
"Excuse me, may I borrow this chair?"
She slowly came back to the reality that lay in front of her. She pulled her eyes away from the empty pages of her journal and looked up into the man's caring eyes.
In all the books she had read and all the movies she watched, never once stood such a disheveled man worn with his shaky stance, every happy day visible in the wrinkles at his eyes and mouth.
"Oh, of course" she said as she lifted her sleepy feet off the empty seat.
She was compelled to watch the man carry the chair which slightly tipped his body forward with the extra weight. He carried it across the room and set it in front of a woman with matching white hair and white velcro shoes as he stood behind her waiting for their order.
Oh. There's where the movie script comes in. It just isn't my coffee shop romance. It's hers.
Looking around the coffee shop, Jack felt as empty as her journal and she knew it was time to relocate.

2008-08-21T11:02:00.000-07:00

So I suppose you might be wanted to know my schedule.. at least as it stands now..

Grammar
Indigenous Linguistics
Shakespeare
British Literature II
- I work at my cousin's Shell station, well enough pay... and less stressful than any other I've had.
- I'm reading a lot during my down time for classes.
- I've been writing.. in a big way but I don't want to finalize it in words just yet...
- I need to take an entire day to work on my house but I haven't had an empty day yet. Maybe Saturday if I don't go home..
- I'm working on joining as many extra-c.s as possible so that my resume' looks decent someday.
- I have it all figured out in the ways of what I want to do. Also not wanting to finalize that yet, I won't.. I just don't want anyone to get hopeful for my future and then let anyone down.. so sorry but it'll stay between God and me for awhile.

2008-08-21T10:56:00.000-07:00

My Roommates: Erin Courtney Walters and Megan Dena' Hope

2008-08-21T10:33:00.000-07:00

So to start us off.. I don't know why this is being underlined.. I'm kind of frustrated but I'll roll with it.. This is my room at 911 W. 4th. I suppose I could have arranged the pictures in a more appropriate order but here it is. I hope that you see pieces of yourselves in my room as I carry pieces of everyone in my heart.. cheese. my mom's pepsi crate.

the Italy book Jeanette gave me when I was little, a painting by Aly, one by Stony,

a fivefootwelve drum head.

kara, DyAna's canvas

the quilt grandma J made mom, cards cards cards from betsy, kate, meg, linz, lalo given to me by linda, my birthday owl from megan

Spencer, Becky, DyAna, Lainey, Mallory

Anna, Mal, Alex, Emily, Lainey, Anna, Mom

Cassidy's lamp, Anna and Mal

2008-06-09T19:06:00.000-07:00

Hi all.

Let's play catch up, shall we? (harping in an Anna line)

Let's see what all has happened since I've seen you.

If you are family I probably haven't seen you since Lainey's Graduation..

*I started my Asian Philosophy class, did well.

*2nd week of class, I witnessed one of my best friends break at her dad's funeral. Mallory's dad died in a motorcycle accident, he was 43.

*Mallory and Trey moved up their wedding to July 11th.

*I am moved home for a month or so.

*My friends, Megan, DyAna, Jennifer, Kaitlyn and I are looking for a big house to live together in in Stillwater.

*Our wheat is ready to cut, but our fields won't dry with all this rain.

*Emily and Jered got engaged.. I've kissed him haha..

*Lainey and I have a fun little routine that would make anyone jealous: wake up, work out, project, lunch, 2.5 hr pool time (pics shown above), snack, 2nd workout, project, dinner...

If you are more behind than May 9th... well then you need to visit.

JEANETTE, ERIC and JONATHON!!!

Love.

2008-05-16T11:16:00.000-07:00

I love the restlessness my body feels when I have had too much caffeine.
I love the calming, yet uncontrollable shake in my legs.
I love that none of this is quite normal and I should really limit myself to less than the entire pot of coffee.
I love that I should eat something, but won't because I have found satisfation in my coffee cup.
oh and Asian Phil is bogus.

2008-05-01T06:01:00.000-07:00

Listen to my favorite Prof doin his thing on NPR.
That is all. Love you.

2008-04-29T14:48:00.000-07:00

I think I’m still in love with Frank Rowan.
Before Frank, there was Adam Eddington – easy to get over.
And there was that mysterious French boy Paul, who won my heart in Switzerland…
Zachary Gray was always following me around when I was younger – CREEP.
In junior high, Calvin’s skinny little body had me. I don’t think he ever understood what it meant to me when he held my hand well when he kythed his hand into mine.
Frank was simple though, and I loved him. And I love him.

2008-04-17T22:46:00.001-07:00

Who grows up now-a-days anyways?

maybe my little bro who just turned sixteen and took a little fourteen yr old girl out bowling.
by himself none the less.
maybe my little bro who drives without someone with him to monitor his safety.
or his speed.
maybe my little bro who not only got his first ticket.
but got one for going 92 mph.

maybe my friend who is getting married in May is growing up.
but you can't be grown up at 20.
maybe my best friend who is getting married in August after waiting 21 years.
with months counting.
maybe my best who is getting married in December with her pretty white skin.
in a pretty white month, if Oklahoma cooperates.

maybe I am growing up even without a special moment to landmark it.
no ring necessary.

I feel older when my little brother is turning out to not be so little.
I feel older when someone younger is already in love.
I feel older when I beam with pride at Mallory's will-power.
I feel older when my best friend is more independant from me than I could ever admit.

Older and happier and sadder.
Isn't that life.

Not real sad. but tearful if I had tears left to cry.
I'd cry for the beauty of life.

I talked to my dad about how great life is.
Because I thought, wow it must have been the greatest when he was growing up on the farm with his brothers and sister. Just being Reeses together with their cousins and friends. Doing fun stuff all the time. Riding their bikes to Oklahoma City. Driving their pickups on frozen ponds after winning softball games. Playing basketball with inmates as "Reese Dairy". That must of been the greatest.
But then you think about raising four little kids, wow. How much fun to have a little bratty crazy funny Joanna with her little brother rival for attention and best friend for a time. Then having a Lainey! Can you imagine!? How great it was to finish with a stubborn headstrong Spencer who ended up being the funniest of us all! That had to be the greatest time in my father's life.
But we are still growing and sometimes it's hard but sometimes it isn't. How great is it to see your kids playing sports and doing well in them! How great is it to see your daughter realize her potential. To see your children reflect the love you poured into them.. maybe that is the greatest?
But it can't be because if you take a look at Grandpa and Grandma.. that has to be the greatest doesn't it?
Life is the greatest we can know on earth.

We can be cynics about the world because Clive was right we weren't made for the worldly world. But life, life is the greatest we have down here. Even when it's hard to celebrate because the world gets us down or just whatever.

Whew, I did cry.

2008-03-31T19:48:00.000-07:00

I'm homesick.
Anytime I skip going home a week.. I long for my family.

2008-03-29T16:01:00.000-07:00

Some of the engaged friends.

Katie + Preston
Mallory + Trey
Anna + Hunter

2008-03-29T15:20:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time there was a little girl by the name of Anna. She was like most little farm girls in that she loved to ride the tractor with her daddy, she had an imagination little city girls wouldn't even know to dream of having, and she loved cookin' with her mama. Sometimes little farm girls don't have many friends around, but not Anna. When it is said that her imagination is wilder than other children, there is no mistake. When she wakes up, she is Robin Hood and calls to her Maid Mariam to let her out of bed. At breakfast, she is Simba with her daddy, The Lion King. She has her friends with her all day long. In the history of little girls, there wasn't a one with more friends.

2008-03-29T15:13:00.000-07:00

Mountain Dew reminds me of harvest.
Harvest makes me think about that night dad and I watched fireworks out of the back of Big Blue.
Fireworks remind me why I love my family
and thinking of my family brings the though of how lucky I am.
How lucky I am to have you to look forward to!
Looking forward sends my memory racing back to a time when my sister had Hope in her eyes at such a young age.
When I was young I was terrible!
Being terrible consisted of me, at the age of four, climbing out of the wheat truck so I could ride in the wheat.
Terrifying my mom reminds me of that night in October
and that reminds of I have so much to forget.
Forgetting brings me to the present because I am still getting over the boy who knew how to break my heart.
This broken heart reminds me I have so much more to learn about love.
Love reminds me of home.
Home reminds me of harvest
and harvest, Mountain Dew.

2008-03-18T20:52:00.000-07:00

To her girlfriend:

She takes care of my heart
She takes what is broken
And she rewrites the past with me
And slowly we are healed together
Song by song, finding new meaning
Step by step, finding a new escape
I hold her in my heart
I find her pieces scattered on the highway
And we rearrange the memories just so
Slowly, slowly we are restored together
Paint to canvas, covering the old
Pen to paper, discovering the new
Sing with me sweeter words for life’s song
Sing with me sweeter notes for this symphony
Walk with me under new trees.
Walk with me under a brighter, more beautiful sky
Paint with me a picture to cover my shame
Paint with me a picture to forget his name
Rewrite with me the pages that break my heart
Rewrite with me the chapter I thought I had loved.

To her critics:

2008-02-27T21:03:00.001-08:00

please don't comment on the sloppiness of this spill. I know.
I was working with ten different thoughts with ten different concepts with ten different techniques in about ten lines. So I know. I just, it was good before I put it down.

I asked to advance on my own
But I never thought you’d leave me alone
But here I stand, better and
Not as lonely as you left me to be.
Perhaps you weren’t who I painted you as
Maybe you were more selfless
Than I ever tried to be,
Because without you I am the better me.
I Am found me hiding behind you.
I am the strength I found in you
I am the wisdom I learned from you.
I am the everything I needed you to be.
God firsthand is more than the pieces I sought out in you.
When you left I was in a million pieces of self doubt
Maybe you weren’t the jerk I wrote about
Because you taught me to respect my self.
But it wasn’t you. You really aren’t the hero.
No matter how much I still want you to be.
It wasn’t me either, but I Am.

2008-02-20T15:21:00.001-08:00

LINK!

2008-02-19T16:32:00.000-08:00

ANTM this time around..
I wasn't going to choose one.. but then I remembered that I have chosen a pre-show fave since the second season.. so I'm going to do because it's one of my only traditions I hold with myself besides disappointing every one every year.

top four because three is cliche.

Kimberly

Claire

Amis from Bartlesville, OK!!

Dominique

Whitney my wild card pick this season is the plus size.

bottom nine in continuing order best to worst.
based solely on looks because there is no other way to base it.
Kat
Fatima
Allison
Lauren
Anya
Aimee
Atalya
Stacy Ann
Marvita

2008-01-31T17:41:00.000-08:00

Keane you are so good to foreshadow into my life..
why didn't you tell the tree the boy wasn't worth any of it.

I don't wanna be adored
Don't wanna be first in line
Or make myself heard
I'd like to bring a little light
To shine a light on your life
To make you feel loved
No, don't wanna be the only one you know
I wanna be the place you call home
I lay myself down
To make it so, but you don't want to know
I give much more
Than I'd ever ask for
Will you see me in the end
Or is it just a waste of time
Trying to be your friend
Just shine, shine, shine
Shine a little light
Shine a light on my life
And warm me up again
Fool, I wonder if you know yourself at all
You know that it could be so simple
I lay myself down
To make it so, but you don't want to know
You take much more
Than I'd ever ask for
Say a word or two to brighten my day
Do you think that you could see your way
To lay yourself down
And make it so, but you don't want to know
You take much more
Than I'd ever ask for..

2008-01-15T22:12:00.000-08:00

I start my new job at Fountain Square Cleaners tomorrow morning at 8...

so before I become exhausted with work..
here is the latest and greatest in youtube fun.

2008-01-01T13:42:00.000-08:00

lyrics to the song Regina covered that is available on iTunes for free.
that everyone is in dire need of owning even if they are unaware.

2008-01-01T10:28:00.000-08:00

new. new. new.
celebrating a day.
it seems so silly.
a natural change of night to morning.
each day is a new one.
why do we celebrate one digit.
2-0-0-_.

I know why because I get it.
I understand needing a new year.
I understand needing silly hope.
that a new year will change me.
that a new year will be different.

but I don’t believe in resolutions.

so where do we go from here.
how are you going to be different
if you don’t make one resolution.
you need a plan.
My plan is to not repeat my mistakes.

in 2007, I:
____ed.
kissed one more boy I didn’t like.
wasted a lot of money on:
_______
food.
music.
on other people.
__________.
trusted, put my trust in, a human.
wasn’t in The Word.
wasn’t at church, even though I was going.
let depression defeat me.
lied a lot.
had to hide a lot.
from God. my parents. my friends.
let go of all discipline.
did not look, act, or talk like myself.

So that’s what I’m giving to God.
resolutions are made to be broken.
so I won’t make any.
I will just live one day at a time.
I’m going to mess up sometimes.
because I am human.

So if a resolution is what you want..
I’m going to try in 2008 to not be my 2007 self.
and I’m going to try one day at a time.
everyday.
no matter how bad I might fail the day before.

Some of my favorite songs (released) in 2007:
My Dear Acquaintance – Regina Spektor
Stripped – Shiny Toy Guns
Goodbye – Elephant Parade
Young Folks – Peter Bjorn & John
Burgundy Shoes – Patty Griffin
Deathbed – Relient K
Voice on Tape – Jenny Owen Youngs
Your Love Alone Is Not Enough – Manic Street Preachers
CrushCrushCrush – Paramore
The Bomb – New Young Pony Club
Be Good or Be Gone – Fionn Regan
Give a Little Love – Rilo Kiley
I’ve Just Seen a Face – Jim Sturgess
Those Dancing Day Are Gone – Carla Bruni
Back in Your Head – Tegan and Sara
Think of You – A Fine Frenzy
Coloured Glass – The Breathers
…
Rehab – Amy Winehouse
Girlfriend – Avril Lavigne

2007 movie releases I did manage to see:
300 – good, slightly overrated.. is nudity ever necessary?
Across the Universe – Probably the best I saw all year.
Amazing Grace – good.
American Gangster – again is nudity every necessary? Good movie though.
August Rush – very good.
Because I Said So – good.
Bourne Ultimatum – ummm YES.
Catch and Release – worst chick flick I’ve ever seen.
Daddy’s Little Girls – good.
Evening – beautiful.
Hairspray – very good.
Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix – very very good.
Knocked Up – very overrated, with stupid title.
License to Wed – yuck.
The Nanny Diaries – very cute.
The Number 23 – decent, but not good.
Ocean’s 13 – eh they’re all the same.
Peaceful Warrior – loved it at first, hate it now.
Reign Over Me – Don Cheadle and Adam Sandler actually acting. Very Good!
Stomp the Yard – ew.
The Ultimate Gift – surprising.

2007 movie releases I wanted to see but didn't:
3:10 to Yuma
Atonement
Awake
Becoming Jane
Bella
Bridge to Terabithia
The Bucket List
Dan in Real Life
The Darjeeling Limited
The Diving Bell and Butterfly
Enchanted
The Ex
Goya’s Ghost
I’m Not There
Into the Wild
In the Land of Women
Juno
The Kite Runner
Lady Chatterly
Lars and The Real Girl
La Vie En Rose
Margot at the Wedding
Martian Child
The Music Within
Persepolis
PS I love you
Sweeney Todd
Waitress

Happy New YEAR.

2007-12-09T23:10:00.000-08:00

..unforunately inspired by Dawson's Creek..
Why is it so important to me that she doesn’t end up with the guy that she loved from the beginning, that she has loved for all time? Maybe it’s because real life can’t be like that or maybe it is because I didn’t like her teenage love’s haircut. Actually I know the reason. I liked the other guy. He wanted to change the patterns of a drama series. He wanted to run away from the corny ending of two childhood loves finding their way back to one another. So he did. He didn’t stick around because he knew that dreams don’t have to start and stop at the same place, the same person. That is how the more amazing guy with the more amazing hair is going to find me, by being more bold than conventional love stories.

2007-12-08T12:04:00.000-08:00

2007-12-05T15:36:00.000-08:00

2007-12-04T19:54:00.000-08:00

I never told you what I was thankful for.
Maybe you thought I wasn’t.
Oh, but I am.
I’m thankful for:
Apricots from Ralph’s house when I was little.
rolling my feet on Acorns and Anna.
April showers that last until July.
caramel Apples during homecoming and Aly.
my Aunts being my friends.
Boxes from Betsy, Best Friends, and my BFF.
my Bed and my Bobbi Blu shoes.
Books that take me away and the color Brown.
the Bible and the Bird and the Bee.
Coffee, Cousins, and a Car that works.
my California roadtrip and Cassidy.
Creativity that could only be mine.
Donne, Dad, and Drew.
Deer for not running in front of my car and Daniel.
Dictionaries, Doors, and laughing the first time
I heard the name Dorkus.
Dressing differently, DyAna and Dreaming.
my Elephant scarf and Eli.
Electricity, Emily, and E=MC^2?
Everyone who makes me laugh.
Everything that makes me smile.
Everyplace that makes me remember.
Fire pits, Firmiana Simplex, and Fiber.
Forearms, Fingers and Feet.
overcoming Fear and allowing Forget.
Forgiveness and being Forgiven.
Global Warming and God.
Grace, van Gogh, and G-parents.
Goodwill, Gardens, and colored Glass.
High-fives, Hugs, and Hearts.
Home and the Ho House.
not having Herpes or Hives.
learning to Heal, and saying Hello.
Hose water, the best water in the world.
Ice Cream, IMDB, and Isaac.
International conversations and Indigo.
my Ideas, In-laws, and Imagery.
Jo being a word and Joanna being my name.
Jack Lewis, June, and July.
Jesus and knowing how to spell the word Jeer.
Juxtaposition and Jews?
being a good Kisser and not Kissing,
Kate and Kramer on Seinfeld.
Kara, Klondike the polar bear, and Kangaroos.
Lainey, Love and Lemons in my coke.
Limes when I can’t have Lemons,
seeing Layne on campus and Life
Little Women and never having Lice.
Learning to Listen and Liking to Lick icecream.
Mom, Margaret, Ma Mere.
finding roadtrip friends on Myspace and Marie,
being Miss Jo and the Moon,
Meg, Marshmallows, and Mysteries.
Mallory and Making Me laugh.
New shoes and Not getting what I deserve.
my Nose and my Nostrils.
October being Over, and Octagons,
Olive Oil, but not Olives.
People, Presents, and Parsley,
Preston loving my best and fried Pickles with my bff.
Pickled apple rings that send my dad into uncontrollable laughter,
Parks, Places I’ve never been, and Paint.
Qi on scrabble,
Reeses and Rice Krispies,
Red Rhinos and Rocking chairs.
Smiles, Smarties, and Splenda.
Sweet Singing Sherree jane.
Spiral noodles, Salad, and Sagas.
Spinning wheels, Spencer, and Salt.
Sunsets and Someone I’m yet to meet.
Tyler, Tomboys, and Tykes.
This and That.
Tripod my dead cat, Thing 1 and Thing 2,
Tears, Teams, and Toilet paper.
Unicorns and Umbrellas I don’t Use,
Uncles and their Undeniable laughs.
Violets and Vines,
Wishes and Wind,
Wands that saved Wizards,
Wherever you are,
Whoever you are becoming,
and Whenever We Will meet.
You
You and Zebras.

2007-12-04T12:30:00.000-08:00

GAME TIME.

I have only seen 76 of the IMDB Top 250..http://www.imdb.com/chart/top
I have only seen 2 of the IMDB Bottom 100..http://www.imdb.com/chart/bottom
If you can successfully without error pick:
35 of the 76 from the Top
OR 2 for 2 of the Bottom..

I will have a Christmas present ready for you.

2007-11-27T22:48:00.000-08:00

Finally.

10:45am I don't care and its all my fault
12:23pm I don't understand what you are trying to say.
12:00am Talk to me or don't, but don't play games with a girl who is trying to forget you.
12:30am I'm trying to be honest in saying that I used u and that is my fault. I'm sorry and I don't really plan on being friends again.
12:32am I haven't wanted you in my life ever since that night. I only wanted answers. Thanks for being honest and in advance thank you for never talking to me again.

I can be done.
It feels good.
honestly, truly good.

2007-11-21T22:18:00.000-08:00

2007-11-21T14:59:00.000-08:00

2007-11-20T13:37:00.000-08:00

Really though if you want to know what to get me..
I would really like some different coffee and tea. (I really like Peet's)
Mom this is the only thing I want from you and dad.
That's what I want.
I want coffee.

((Since I am not on the Blogmeyer team.. I will post my Secret Cousin Christmas wishes right here))
-Coffee Beans
ex: any Fair-Trade certified coffees, No Starbucks.
-Loose Leaf teas
-old hardback books with cute/cool/fun titles
ex: The Mystery of the Secret Message
-A Chinese Parasol Tree
-Please don't be a Christmas wimp and give me a gift certificate.

2007-11-19T19:15:00.000-08:00

What do I want for Christmas?
I would like some direction.
I want my friendship to be wanted again.
But I don’t want to be friends with anyone
Who could ever break my heart the way C. did?
I want some motivation.
I would like someone to give me a grade for all the amazing things I do that aren’t for a class.
If I could only be graded on the things I do for fun, I’d be acing this whole college thing.
A time machine, please someone get me a time machine.
It’s the time of year when I just need to start my semester over.
Every time I want to start over, but I never learn from my mistakes.
Good judgement, a second chance, and better listening skills.
If only I could listen to my own advice.
Wisdom could help with that.
Can you give me wisdom for Christmas?
Wisdom and Rummikub?
Because you can never have too many sets of Rummikub.
I like board games, you couldn’t go wrong buying me a board game.
So many boyfriends and girlfriends get it wrong.
Please don’t buy me a fancy watch or fancy jewelry..
All that says to me is that we wouldn’t ever really work.
If I ever have a boy who likes me enough to give me gifts..
He and I will celebrate Thrift-mas.
That’s creativity that will make a relationship last.
He can be the biggest sports fan, a real man’s man
But if he can’t be creative he can’t be mine.
If you could give me anything, what would you want to give me?
I want to be able to honestly answer, “Good”.
So maybe you could give me something that would help with that.
Sometimes people think their advice helps
But advice isn’t what I need I know what I need to do most of the time.
Again I say, give me motivation.
Give me things you can’t possibly give.
Give me things that, really, I’m going to have to get for myself.
And if giving is my love language
Maybe I am just not loving me enough.
How’s that for selfish?
Maybe this is why Christmas isn’t supposed to come before Thanksgiving.

2007-11-19T00:35:00.000-08:00

Coming Attraction: Posting of my altered book's pages...

Christmas is coming..

The goose is getting fat..

I play that over and over in my head

a recording of grandpa’s voice

when we were little we loved listening

to my grandpa’s jokes on cassette tape

even when he was in the car to tell them

after a weekend with him and gma I miss it

Stillwater, Oklahoma is an hour from home

an hour from conflicting moods of comfort and tension

an hour from an easy competitor in Rummikub..

an hour from the quiet life with loud goats

and even louder laughs

the kind of laughing that can remedy deep pain

the kind that would sell if offered in pill form

You are one swallow away from forgetting what he did

You are one swallow away from crying because you are laughing too hard

not because you are remembering too much

his sermon today mentioned depression in the winter season

maybe he had something to say to me but instead of listening

I kept thinking about how beautiful my new elephant scarf looked

wearing it is what motivated me to get out of bed this morning
Not because I wasn’t going to get up
But because I didn’t want to get up

I could sleep forever

I’m just really good at dreaming

I’m really good at a lot of things

things I’m not going to school for like Putt Putt

where was that class in the fall lineup?

oh and in case I forgot to mention

I’m taking a semester off.

Please stop asking me how much longer I have in school.

I DON’T KNOW. Wanna know what else I don’t know?

I don’t know what I want to do.

I don’t know where I want to do it.

I don’t know why at 21 I am supposed to know.

Christmas is coming..The goose is getting fat..

I don’t even know how it ends, something about a half penny?

BFF and I at the Regina Spektor concert in KC

2007-11-14T14:03:00.000-08:00

Just a little bit of fun I have been having between studyings..

2007-10-30T14:19:00.000-07:00

http://ocolly.com/2007/10/24/hot-check-scams-flourish-on-the-internet/

Who got a check today for 2,300 dollars for a book? Yep, good thing I'm a little smarter than some people. What a creepy day!

2007-10-30T01:05:00.000-07:00

Not enough people really "get it" in the car anymore.
This is how I “get it”:
Smelling dryer sheets is my forte.
Thrifting is my art and giving is my love language.
I believe that selfless love is possible, even if it’s rare in our self-serving world.
It’s very possible that I am the greatest “storyteller”
while being the worst at telling stories.
Telling the truth in joke form hides my secrets.
The truth is I lie to myself more than I lie to others.
Once one of my “friends” lied to me for three years, but never once did I lie to him.
I have one Best, one BFF, one FFB, two new besties and a handful of best friends.
In a perfect world, my BFF and I would be going to school together being oh so cool together.
Someday I want to have a matching haircut with my sister like Tegan and Sara.
My sister is cute with the right amount of crazy.
When I was young, my alter-ego lived in my backpack.
Now she lives in the back of my mind.
“My mind is a cloud. Not "in the clouds" or clouded by confusion; it is a cloud. A cloud is collective and separate at the same time. Everything is constantly in motion but it's easy not to see a cloud. My cloud is my mind: a thing of beauty when recognized and eventually it rains... So I'll let the rain lick my cheek breathe in the fragrant swollen sky magnolia creeping the sidewalk air fills my lungs, my mind with spills from my overflowing cup. My spill is my verse: a taste of raindrops dripping from my cloud.”
I don’t write in prose, lyric, poem, or essay form; I write spills.
I hate coffee spills.
Once in Lake Charles, I spilt coffee all over my lap so I bought a skirt.
Once in San Diego, I fell into the ocean so I bought a skirt.
I don’t know how it feels to fall, but head over heels sounds like it hurts.
I just don’t want to get hurt again.
I do want to trust again though.
I want to trust you.
You could be that for me.
I wouldn’t ever have to be “that” girl anymore.
I’m always “that” girl; the one who:
laughs too loud or too much
is talking to your ex or maybe even your fiancé.
sits alone in a crowd.
I love sitting alone, just being.
“Hey can we just be here?”
I like things simple because I’m so complex.
I like my friends free of drama because I’m chained to it.
I like to be told to just get over it.
Except for certain times when I just can’t;
I expect you to know when those times are.
I don’t like to wear a watch,
because I read once that it’s like strapping stress to your wrist.
I don’t like stress, so I don’t let myself do it most of the time
but that always leads to intense stress buildups.
It’s been too long since I built a fort out of blankets.
I sleep with two blankets, and four pillows.
I lost my pillow I have had since I was 12 this past year.
In twelve years, I’ll be living a different life.
In another life, I might have done it right.
I might have stayed away from boys.
I might have listened a little more than I talked.
If you will listen, I will tell you.
Everything.

2007-10-14T18:57:00.000-07:00

I am the Giving Tree.
and someday the boy will come back*.

*I won't be found waiting or wanting.

2007-09-26T14:03:00.000-07:00

Laugh!

2007-09-23T15:04:00.000-07:00

You may be beautiful Graham Harrell
but beauty and an amazing passing game

can't always get you what you want.

2007-09-23T14:48:00.000-07:00

cousins!!
getting game ready faces...
the anxious little leah and lindsey...
The winning crowd wave...
and here's the final field goal...

What a game!!
OSU 49- TX TECH 45

2007-09-16T13:00:00.000-07:00

"To deny friendship is unlove."

2007-09-16T09:22:00.000-07:00

TV SQUAD DAILY
((my latest youtube obsession))

2007-09-14T21:04:00.000-07:00

NEW TOP MODEL TIME

Pick your girl

1. Jenah
2. Janet
3. Saleisha
Wildcard: Victoria

Mom's Selection
1. Saleisha
2. Lisa
3. Jenah
4. Victoria
5. Ebony

Linda's Models
1. Victoria
2. Lisa
3. Mila

Spencer's Picks
Rhianna
Beyonce
1. Bianca
2. Victoria
3. Mila

2007-09-04T08:25:00.000-07:00

Joanna Jean Reese*
(help me define my asterisk)

I will avoid people to the extreme who don't love me.

If you say 'of' instead of 'have' in cases like 'must have' or type to,too,two or there, they're, their wrong, I become instantly irritated.

I'm really good at pretending.

I storytell a lot, but don't worry I won't go more than 2ish hours with you believing any stories I might have (notice have, not of) told you that are completely false.

I might decide our personalities clash due to the smallest thing like emphasizes all your [g]s with a guh sound. Ex: I've been cleaninguh.

I say 'open' wrong 75% of the time, I would say I'm a hypocrit but I recognize my problem and I try really hard not to say ompen. BUT I noticed Gram Loby and Momma Marg both say it.

If I like you, I will start talking like you. I will steal your phrases. I can't help it. I won't even realize I do it and I feel really stupid when people point it out.

That's all I can think of for now... You're turn.

2007-09-03T17:21:00.000-07:00

NEW MOVIES TO OBSESSIVELY WAIT FOR

2007-08-21T00:23:00.000-07:00

read before the tenth verse as well...

ISAIAH 54

10"For the mountains may be removed and the hills may shake,

But My lovingkindness will not be removed from you,

And My covenant of peace will not be shaken,"

Says the LORD who has compassion on you.

11"O afflicted one, storm-tossed, and not comforted,

Behold, I will set your stones in antimony,

And your foundations I will lay in sapphires.

12"Moreover, I will make your battlements of rubies,

And your gates of crystal,

And your entire wall of precious stones.

13"All your sons will be taught of the LORD;

And the well-being of your sons will be great.

14"In righteousness you will be established;

You will be far from oppression, for you will not fear;

And from terror, for it will not come near you.

15"If anyone fiercely assails you it will not be from Me.

Whoever assails you will fall because of you.

16"Behold, I Myself have created the smith who blows the fire of coals

And brings out a weapon for its work;

And I have created the destroyer to ruin.

17"No weapon that is formed against you will prosper;

And every tongue that accuses you in judgment you will condemn

This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD,

And their vindication is from Me," declares the LORD.

2007-08-20T06:34:00.000-07:00

This post has been editted for current enrollment purposes.

In two hours, class starts..... yuck.
Today from 10:30 straight till 2:30 I have:
Education Technology
Shakespeare
French
Women's Lit

The reason I dropped Brit Lit II: JERK PROF like no other.

Tomorrow at 12:30 & 2 I have:
French
History of American Film

The reason I dropped Advanced Compostion: 9am and Film avail.

Well there's the schedule that will try it's hardest to kill me this semester.
I'm going to win this time though.

Oh and it's supposed to rain today.. if it does so, that will be a third year tradition of first days here in Stillwater.

Laundry is calling.. Love!

2007-08-10T12:00:00.000-07:00

As some of you, my Kstate family, may already know..
Homecoming in Stillwater, recognized by wikipedia, is HUGE.
October 19th, Friday evening: The Walk Around.
October 20th, Saturday morning: Sea of Orange Parade.
October 20th, Saturday TBA: the GAME.

And so what if almost our entire basketball and football players have been arrested this summer due to underage drinking in trashy bars like "Dirty's" and DUIs...

It will be a fun time regardless and I expect you to come.

2007-08-03T21:19:00.000-07:00

Suddenly everything has changed...

I would go back to last summer if I could.
When you could actually read the freeing letters that formed 'escape'...

Everything was a lot prettier then...

...driving home

the sky accelerates

and the clouds all form

a gemometric shape

and it goes fast

you think of the past...

2007-07-29T17:04:00.001-07:00

Breaking the tension with someone who inspires me to waste time on youtube..

2007-07-25T20:31:00.001-07:00

today was really hard.

2007-07-24T10:45:00.000-07:00

So I have this BFF she's pretty great and as you, my family, know she posted recently on a certain website. http://www.deviantart.com/ Well what you might not know is that I am currently obsessed with this site and spend hours on it. Yes mom, I am that wasteful with my time. My point is that I might have just created my own gallery on said site. http://joreese.deviantart.com/gallery/

Matthew.. unfortunately I am going to remain in english.. sorry I just don't know what else to do.

And if you want to read something that will break your heart, I mean you have to be ready to read spills from a messed up pov... read this: http://alyssasharpe.wordpress.com/

2007-07-22T07:33:00.000-07:00

I feel like you all needed a new post for Birthday wishes,
but since it's a late post I'll just let you see my favorite pictures of Boston.
Notice it's a collection that doesn't accurately account the town..
Mom's blog is for that.

2007-07-12T13:12:00.000-07:00

A Slippery Recollection

I was weeding my way through the garden one afternoon on a sunny one. I came upon a slug, sonny boy.
The slug said, "Don't spit on me! I'm gooey enough!"

I agreed. I said, "I won't spit."

The slug again sharply stated, "DON'T SPIT ON ME!"
I thought, 'How crazy is this piece of slime?'

I said, "I repeat, I will not spit on anyone! I will spit elsewhere! Yet aren't you frightened by my immense size?"
The slug said, "I am on my side!"
I said, "Surely you be scared to die!"
The slug said, "I am a slug."

I ran indoors and returned with a salt shaker to at least shake the oozer up.
"Do it!" my talking slug dared.

I thought about it. "It does go better on beans," I concluded.

Thus, I let him go, although I easily could have squished him.

I suspect this book was written on drugs and thus I believe it must be funnier under the influence.. So whoever wishes to prove my theory do so.. Although I do not condone the use of drugs, If one were to already be... read this book to him or her and test my hypothesis por favor.

2007-07-12T12:59:00.001-07:00

I want this movie out NOW! Who wouldn't love a hippie musical?

2007-07-05T14:39:00.000-07:00

My new room.

Mushroom Clock: $2.99 Goodwill
2 Placemats: $0.50 Goodwill
Bird Thing: $1 Karman Korner Resale
Fabrics + Mod-Podge = Refurnished Dresser Drawers
Mom's quilt Grandma made: Priceless

Leaf Candle holders: $2 Karman Korner Resale
Bedspread/Wallcover: SPURLGE $32 Urban Outfitters
Grandpa Frank's Chairs
Pillow: $2 Antique Mall
Left to Right
Box Painting: $1 St. Andrew's Thrift
Chair Painting: Aly
Top YarnArt Flower: $1 Goodwill
YarnArt in wood frame: $2 Antique Mall
YarnArt Van Gogh: $3 St. Andrew's Thrift
Wheat Sunflower: I painted a VSecret Box lid
Poppy Seed & Nutmeg YarnArts: $0.50 each
Ff words Painting: Me/Stony Fath
(Fickle, Facetious, Fob, Frivolous, Fidelity, Flippant)
Van Gogh: $7 Antique Mall
Wall Flowers: $2 Karman Korner
My renovated desk: paint, fabric and mod-podge!

2007-07-05T07:08:00.000-07:00

BRAGGING RIGHTS!

Spenco
Marie (roommate) and me
Marie
Isaac
What a camera!

2007-07-03T22:16:00.000-07:00

Dad found my camera!!
It was in the wrecked Civic...
Girl Cousin Party in Stillwater!
(Anna you can come when you are a little older)

2007-06-25T15:42:00.000-07:00

Hey so here is the absolute coolest/impressive.
Mute Math - Typical

2007-06-20T20:35:00.001-07:00

::Below::
My favorite music video lately.
It's soo beautiful. Watch it all the way through...
Elephant Gun - Beirut

2007-06-20T20:34:00.000-07:00

2007-06-14T10:51:00.000-07:00

There are two really funny features to this picture.
If you can tell me what both of them are

I will seriously mail you a present.

So comment the two items with your mailing address.

MY MOM SAYS I'M OUT OF CONTROL

I SAY I'M HAPPY

SHE SAYS STOP PRETENDING

I'D LIKE TO SEE ANYONE WHO AGREES

I MAY NOT BE CONSISTENT

BUT I'M CONSTANTLY TRYING

YESTERDAY I RAN

SO WHAT IF ALL I WANT TO DO TODAY IS SLEEP

"SHE USES SLEEP AS A DRUG"

OH YEAH, I'M REALLY LIVING THE HIGH LIFE

I REALLY DO WISH I COULD FLY

"OH, THAT I HAD THE WINGS OF A DOVE!

I WOULD FLY AWAY AND BE AT REST"

I WANT TO BE FAR AWAY FROM THE TEMPEST AND THE STORM

SO DID DAVID.

2007-06-06T09:53:00.000-07:00

Emily, Me, Lindsey, Rachel, and DyAna :)
at Linz' going away party.. :(

Mainly I just miss my girls a lot.
Lindsey come home.

This is how it works

You're young until you're not

You love until you don't

You try until you can't

You laugh until you cry

You cry until you laugh

And everyone must breathe

Until their dying breath

No, this is how it works

You peer inside yourself

You take the things you like

And try to love the things you took

And then you take that love you made

And stick it into some

Someone else's heart

Pumping someone else's blood

And walking arm in arm

You hope it don't get harmed

But even if it does

You'll just do it all again
-Regina Spektor

I miss Dry Gulch way too much.

Find the Miss Jo?

2007-05-24T23:16:00.000-07:00

DISCLAIMER: I did not write this, but it's me.
My mom told me that pretending things are okay doesn't cut it.
I won't tell you which parts of this relate to me.
Just know that I am happy, genuinely.

in my head everything is perfect.

the ocean below me crashing into itself.
softly rustling, but loud enough to drown

out the man on the otherside of the pier playing the guitar.

singing. i think it's spanish. but it could be english.

i hear mumbling. i hear the pacific. i see diamonds.

i might be the only person i know that can waste

five hours of my life driving, so that i can sit for two hours

in front of a a body of water. alone.but it is nice to be alone.
it is nice to quietly gather thoughts, and sort through life,
and teach myself to live. i am my best student.
because i am good at listening. not that you aren't.
but you just aren't. when my mind is blank--

my mind is never blank.
my heart is always hurting. and my life is never simple.
i wish i could stand in front of you, whole and good and strong.
i wish i didn't care that the friends i had

were never my friends to begin with,
and that that is not my fault.

i always tried to figure out which hurt worse.
to be alone, or to be in a room with eyes
quietly judging you for things that they

heard second, third and tenth hand.
but i know now, i love being alone. there is no contest.

i used to want to be with someone. i remember this man.
i looked up to him in so many ways.
and he admired and respected me.
there were times that i saw a light inside him,
that would take me to the otherside.
but he gave up, right when i needed him the most.
and that is the same with the rest of you.you stopped calling me.
and when you see me. you smile and ask me how i am.
don't pretend to care if you don't. and if you really do care.
put your back into it. i'm worth to know,

and i'm sure that you are too. but i guess we'll never know.

i've had a lot of time on my hands to do nothing.
to read. to write. to think.
and i wish i could continue sorting out what really matters.
but all i think about is-- you don't get to know.

it's strange the way that one person can destroy

everything you've ever believed.
that he can force you to start fresh.
one foot at a time. both eyes open this time.
checking over your shoulder. paranoia.
that anyone after you, doesn't want your mind,
because the one who said he loved that part of you, left you.
and the one who took your body-
denied the fault and left you with confusion.
then never had the face to apologize.
he just grabbed on to anything his little heart could reach.
and faked it for them. so that they would still take him in.

i don't think of him anymore. i think of the aftermath.

but i can't care if you like me. the world is huge.
i'll move on. i have. but my heart still hurts sometimes.
and when i am alone. when i have time to think.
this is what i see. an endless ocean full of shame and doubt.
confusion. lost souls. angry words. rape. lies.
and a blanket of hope.
that one day everything will be taken

away to the otherside of the world.
and we won't have to look at it again.

for you, the ones i could love:
you can't hurt me.
because i've already been hurt too deep.
so come to me if you want to.
try with me, and maybe i'll give you something.

something good. something real.
maybe i'll let my guard down.
but if you don't want to take the time,
i'll understand.
and i'll walk on this side of the ocean,
dreaming of the day God takes me for an endless swim.

2007-05-24T12:26:00.000-07:00

COME READ MY SPILL

My mind is a cloud. Not "in the clouds"
or clouded by confusion; it is a cloud.
A cloud is collective and separate at the same time.
Everything is constantly in motion
but it's easy not to see a cloud.
My cloud is my mind:
a thing of beauty when recognized
And eventually it rains...

So I'll let the rain lick my cheek
breathe in the fragrant swollen sky
magnolia creeping the sidewalk air
fills my lungs, my mind
with spills from my overflowing cup
My spill is my verse:
a taste of raindrops
dripping from my cloud.

I don't really know that my second spill matches my first..
Thought maybe I could get a yesser or a noer..

Definition of a spill:
Jo's free versed love of words.

2007-05-23T07:53:00.000-07:00

This will go to the first person that realizes I'm blogging again.
Don't snub me for my inconsistencies.
I'm just a little girl.

2007-05-22T20:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was getting ready for my presentation for class.
I was sitting in the atrium at the Union.
An old man came up to me.
I'll leave out my end of the conversation so you can see how adorable he was.
"Did you see the Bursar right there?"
"Can you believe it? ... That's the Bursar's Office."
"Well 100 years ago when I went to school here it was over there by Murray..
What's that building named?"
"What are you studying?"
"Well don't you let me interrupt you, goodluck on your presentation."
"But you won't need it because you are so good at conversation."
"You're a natural at talking to people and making them feel important."
"I like you already."
He then yelled his wife's name even though she wasn't around.. "Jan!"
yet she popped up.
"Did you see that Bursar there"
"Don't bother her with more talk she has to prepare a presentation"
"Good luck again."
He walked off and I smiled to myself at the friendly encounter.
But then he came back.
"and you're really pretty, don't let anyone ever tell you differently."
"I mean it."
said sincerely and stepped away again for the final time.
This time he left me with tears swelling up in my eyes.
What a sweet, sincere old man!

2007-05-22T20:29:00.000-07:00

Sappho of Lesbos.
Most of her lyric lost, fragments remain.
This is my favorite translation of one piece.

Like the very gods in my sight is he who sits where he can look in your eyes, who listens
close to you, to hear the soft voice, its sweetness murmur in love and
laughter, all for him. But it breaks my spirit; underneath my breast all the heart is shaken.
Let me only glance where you are, the voice dies, I can say nothing,
but my lips are stricken to silence, under-neath my skin the tenuous flame suffuses; nothing shows in front of my eyes, my ears are muted in thunder.
And the sweat breaks running upon me, fever shakes my body, paler I turn than grass is;
I can feel that I have been changed, I feel that death has come near me.

I love the vulnerability of it.

2007-05-22T08:51:00.000-07:00

Two of my favorite friends.
17 mile drive, Pebble Beach vicinity.
I miss the ocean a whole lot.
I want to drive back tomorrow or later this afternoon.
Alas, I have a midterm after a week of class in 30 minutes.
I am living a nomadic lifestyle.
Well not really because this is technically my house.
And when I'm not here I'm at home.
Really Mallory is the only nomad.
and I really like that she stays with me occasionally.
We went on a really long walk last night down alley ways.
I pride myself in that I looked in many dumpsters.
That had become one of my new greatest fears.
Because I like making up horrors in my head.
and freaking my friends and myself out.
Like when Mal and I walked into an abandoned,

dilapidated frat house.

The End.

2007-05-20T23:53:00.000-07:00

What I am learning this late night for World Lit.

Research of the 11th Century Romance Lyric Poetry:
Tensons were disputes concerning love which took place between knights and lady-poets who discussed some fine and subtle questions of love.

Countess of Die & Raimboud of Orange:
"Friend, with great torment,
I am through you in great trouble;
And, from the grief which I suffer through it,
I do not believe that you feel anyting.
Therefore, why do you call yourself a lover,
Since to me you leave all the evil
For we two do not share it equally."

"Lady, love has such work,
When two friends it enchains,
That the evil tey ave, and the joy,
Each feels in his own way;
Because I think, and I am no deciever,
That a severe pang at heart
Wholly possesses me."

"Friend, so much I know you a flatterer,
What regards amorous affairs,
That I believe that as a knight
You have become fickle;
And I must well remind you of it,
For well it appears that you think of another,
Because for my thoughts you do not care."

"Lady, may never hawk
I carry, not follow the chase in fine weather,
If ever--since you gave me entire joy--
I was of any other a follower:
Nor am I such a deceicer;
But through envy the disloyal
Suppose me so, and make me out venal."

2007-04-22T11:19:00.000-07:00

Spring Semester 07
catchin ya'll up in pictures..

Swimming at Chapter Retreat.. FREEZING!
Mal and Me at Shortcakes
Erin Me and Sher, My 3P girls.
Cassidy and Me, she works and PLAYS with me.
Matt and Mal, a boy I tend to see a lot now due to that girl.
Anna (a new favorite), me and Mal
Anna and I are going to Cali in less than 2 wks!! and Mal.
Yay road trip buds playing in the grass on Earth Day

Heather, Lindsey, and Me. Heather's bDAY parTAY.
Aly took Easter pics of me.
Yeah I was shaking the tree. ha
Aly did such a good job.
Didn't she!

Mom at Mom's Day with her Dylan lyrics and me.
Kate and Me at Spring Sing
Mom and Me
Erin came with us to the OSU musical
Taking off my masq.

2007-04-22T11:02:00.000-07:00

Mal and I studying
Chelsi and I at UCO Jazz Lab for Sherree & Luma
Hunter, Anna, Chad, Me, Kate, Christian
Kate, Me, Carah, Anna
(Shiny Toy Guns)
My little and Me at Mom's Day

2007-02-28T07:34:00.000-08:00

SOO before I update you on my life..

AMERICA's NEXT TOP MODEL premieres tonight.
http://www.cwtv.com/video?vid=326 <--preview the models
http://www.cwtv.com/shows/americas-next-top-model <--pick your fab five.

1. Natasha
2. Brittany
3. Sarah
4. Renee
5. Jael *will she be the most annoying girl, or the delightfully eccentic loved one?

DO IT!
Preferrably before it airs tonight.

Okay real life now. Every day I go to class at 8:30. I'm at work by 11. Stay until 5:30. Go to class, studying, overflow, or covenant group or mixtures of the four. I also "do dinner" with long lost friends. This is because I have no time to fit them in anywhere else in my life and because late in the evening is usually my first meal. I haven't stayed consecutive nights at my home home since Jan 2ish. I'm making money and learning the art of not spending my entire check although having an itunes account has become dangerous. Whenever I want to go to bed early, I run by Third Place on my way home and grab a Banana Hazelnut Steamer. Puts me right to sleep mode but I still usually have my wind down time with Scrubs. The Number 23 was a great movie to NOT SLEEP THROUGH. Because I work so hard during the week, I reward myself with going to Tulsa for church at the end of every pay week. I just finished two midterms, geology theory and geology lab. Yick. I watched The Last Kiss again last night and appreciated it, although its not a movie I'd recommend; most people hated it.

I just want to end with my favorite song right now:
Where Does the Good Go by Tegan & Sara

2007-01-17T19:38:00.000-08:00

My nose bled today.
Reslife stressed me out while I was at work with roommate situation voicemails.
I look really cute right now for no reason.
My brother keeps borrowing my car after I get off work to drive on the ice.
His laundry is still in the laundry room because I am too tired to go get it.
I also need to go get food for the week and print off a ton of materials.
I have to figure out a lab thing, do my online homework, learn french.
My life is rough. haha. but serious.
Mallory hates her new puppy. She cried a lot because it wasn't Pre, and it made me sad.
She didn't even name it.
Did you know I have a job?
Yes I do. I work at Tan & Tone. Don't laugh. Love me for trying.
My wrist hurts more and more each day.
And ya know what. With all of this, I am happier than I ever was before because I have a heart full of hope ready to be broken at any moment.
Hey Lloyd, I'm ready to be heartbroken, and I can't see farther than my own nose at this moment.
I might be going to KC with Susan for Camera Obscura. But I keep saying I'm going to do a lot of things and yet I still have no money. Who knows? Who? I don't.
What an awkward question! I'm pretty sure we all know of Someone who does know. Right.

Heart you.

2007-01-16T08:22:00.001-08:00

Mom